Ain’t No Partie like a FIFA France Football Partie…
The spectacular Théâtre du Châtelet in Paris plays host to that annual orgy of soccer self-congratulation: the awarding of the Ballon d’Or. In the grand tradition of bloated FIFA-sponsored award-show spectacles, this year’s ceremony will consist of frequent announcements of the final rankings of the 30 eligible male players over THREE FIVE (gulp) HOURS, along with other side shows. Among the accolades/hardware up for grabs tonight:
Men’s Ballon d’Or
Among the many things I learned from Rodri’s victory today:
- He’s the first Spanish player to win since 1960. Let that sink in for a second. In 64 years Liberia and Scotland have the same number of winners…
- He’s the first Manchester City player to win.
- He’s only the 7th winner who played in the English league.
- He’s only the 3rd defensive midfielder to win (Lothar Matthäus ’90 & Matthias Summer ’96 were the others).
Women’s Ballon d’Or
Barcelona’s Aitana Bonmatí holds onto her title for one more year. Her teammates Caroline Graham Hansen and Salma Paralluelo placed 2nd and 3rd respectfully.
Kopa Trophy (best u21 player)
It’s Lamine Yamal from Barcelona. No real surprise here, given how much impact this young man has had. His runners up (in order 2nd through 5th): Arda Güler, Kobbie Mainoo, Savinho, Pau Cubarsí
Yashin Trophy (best goalkeeper)
For the first time ever, we have a repeat winner with Aston Villa/Argentina keeper Emiliano Martínez claiming the trophy! He’s everything you want in a keeper: confident, quick and a world-class sh¡thouser on the pitch.
His runners up were (in order from 2nd to 10th): Unai Simón, Andriy Lunin, Gianluigi Donnarumma, Mike Maignan, Yann Sommer, Giorgi Mamardashvili, Diogo Costa, Ronwen Williams (NOTE: first ever African nominee who plays for an African club), Gregor Kobel.
Gerd Müller Trophy (top goalscorer)
In truth, this is the only objective award here, since you win by scoring the most goals. No controversy… just stats. And this year we had joint winners on 52 goals: Harry Kane & Kylan Mbappé. The latter, of course, is not present.
Men’s Club of the Year
Well this is awkward… Real Madrid is this year’s winner. But of course the club neglected to send anyone to the event…
The runners up: Leverkusen, Dortmund, Girona, Manchester City
Women’s Club of the Year
No surprise that Barça grabbed this hardware… given the top three Ballon d’Or winners play there. Runners up included: Chelsea, Lyon, NJ/NY Gotham, Paris Saint-Germain
Men’s Coach of the Year
Uh… Carlo Ancelotti. Crickets in the room. I’m all for grand statements, but for a club as renowned as Real Madrid to display the childhood “I’m taking my ball and going home” churlishness is beyond disappointing. They had three players in the top five, and won three of the other eight awards. Not enough? That’s just hubris. And greed. And a lot of other words I can’t print here.
I wonder if any runners up who did attend accepted on his behalf? Xabi Alonso (Leverkusen), Luis de la Fuente (Spain), Gian Piero Gasperini (Atalanta), Pep Guardiola (Manchester City), Lionel Scaloni (Argentina)
Women’s Coach of the Year
Before anyone Stateside gets puffed up let’s be perfectly clear: Emma Hayes did NOT win this due to her record as U.S. Women’s coach, as impressive as that has been. She got it for her record at Chelsea. The runners up: Sonia Bompastor (Lyon/Chelsea), Arthur Elias (Corinthians/Brazil), Jonatan Giráldez (Barcelona), ; Filipa Patão (Benfica), Sarina Wiegman (England)
So if you were paying attention, out of the nine awards three were awarded to the better 51%, which is about right given all of FIFA’s concern over the state of the women’s game. Remember when they approved Women’s World Cup play on artificial turf during summer in Canada, and on-field temps were so high players’ boots melted? Well, now you have three awards. You’re welcome.
The Pre-Show: End of an Era; Start of a New
Now that soccer’s gaudiest award has finally moved on from the 15-year stranglehold of the Ronaldo-Messi axis, we have a chance to celebrate some new blood! Fellow pundit Gary Striker pontificated on this a month back, offering up some “advice” on how to lose your money.
I’ll admit that when Rodri went down with that ACL injury, I thought his chances for winning spiraled down the loo. Then when Vinicius Jr. nabbed a hat-trick during last week’s Champions League fixtures, I was certain he’d be the shoo-in to win.
But I was wrong about last year’s award, and history might repeat itself. I was certain that Erling Haaland would claim the trophy… the award favors goal-scorers and there was nobody better at it in 23-24 than Man City’s strikerbot. A resplendent Erling nattied out in a double-breasted jacket and ‘70s era bowtie showed up last year… only to play second fiddle to Messi’s gajillionith award. Still, class is class.
Rodri did appear, navigating the red carpet with aplomb on crutches:
There is no shortage of lip-flapping around one of the largest clubs in Europe pulling the equivalent of a toddler temper tantrum. Spain national coach (and award nominee) Luis de la Fuente said: “It is not good for football that a club like Real Madrid is not present at an event of this nature.” Others are less polite, but to be fair it’s been a rocky up-and-down period for Madrid clubs, so maybe they need to rest.
…Come to a Football Partie Dressed Up…
This is still an awards ceremony, so please put away the tracksuit, trainers and smelly old kits. Come dressed to the nines in couture-styled elegance, flaunt that swagger and show off that drip…
CORRECTION: My original draft of this article indicated that FIFA is affiliated with the Ballon d’Or. It was from 2010-2015 but is no longer. The award is the sole product of France Football magazine.
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