Tuesday, November 26

There were 40 goals scored in today’s matches: 4 by the losing teams, 6 during the draw and 30 for the winners. Thirty.

Slovan Bratislava 2-3 AC Milan

Slovan’s 88th minute goal might’ve made Milan sweat just a little, especially given how much of a see-saw this game had been with both sides trading punches back and forth. Christian Pulisic kicked off Milan’s victory in the 21st minute, his third goal in the campaign.

Sparta Praha 0-6 Atlético de Madrid

Well… this is awkward. <Cough>.

Bayer Leverkusen 5-0 Salzburg

With NINE players out injured and having to play away, Salzburg didn’t have much of a chance when the whistle blew at kickoff. But it’s still hard to describe just how bad Salzburg were (exception to Alexander Schlager who recorded 8 saves). For Leverkusen, this was just what they needed.

Young Boys 1-6 Atalanta

Seeing how Young Boys have been the worst team in the Champions League campaign so far, I can’t say this scoreline was a surprise. But their goal did ruin Atalanta’s five-game streak without a concession.

Barcelona 3-0 Brest

Robert Lewandowski joined Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo in the Champions League Century Club with his 10th minute PK, then put a cherry on top in added time. His brace puts him top of the scorer’s table with 7 goals, and propelled Barça to second in the table. Meanwhile the shine on Brest is starting to tarnish.

Bayern München 1-0 Paris Saint-Germain

Two seasons back PSG boasted the greatest front line in football, now they’re the butt of jokes across the world. Now everyone’s trying to come up with the latest clever spin on the PSG acronym (my fave: Paltry Scoring Goals, or Pretty Screwed Going into the final three games).

Inter Milan 1-0 Leipzig

Inter scored zero goals and jumped to the top of the table by Tuesday’s end, but this was by no stretch an easy win. An injury-ravaged Leipzig pushed Milan in the second half, but their efforts all came to nought due to some fine saves from keeper Yann Sommer.

Manchester City 3-3 Feyenoord

Used to be that when Mac City scored three goals, that was that. But now all is “fragile.” That was the word Pep used in the post-game press conference. But “disaster” would’ve worked too. How else to explain the reigning Premier League champs squandering a 3 goal lead with only 15 minutes left to play? This was a draw that DEFINITELY felt like a loss.

Sporting CP 1-5 Arsenal

Still trying to wrap my head around this result. I don’t want to say the Gooners are “good” based on a single game, but a win like this can turn a team around. We’ll have to wait until the next fixture to see if this is just a blip. Poor Sporting… Amorim leaves and then they get embarrassed at home. Has to sting a little.

Wednesday, Nov. 27

We added another 27 goals to yesterday’s impressive total, which makes 67 over two days of competition. That’s 3.72 goals per game, and equates to a fine experience for the soccer aficionado.

Crvena Zvezda 5-1 VfB Stuttgart

Out of many head-scratching score lines, this one probably takes the cake. Who knew Red Star had this spark in them? Or that Stuttgart could be so damned porous in the back? Mighty confusing. Both teams still sit squarely in the Elimination Zone.

Sturm Graz 1-0 Girona

Graz fans will celebrate their club’s first win, but all everyone is talking about is Iván Martín’s catastrophic howler. He was four feet from the goal. FOUR FEET. And somehow put it over. My goodness.

Monaco 2-3 Benfica

Aston Villa 0-0 Juventus

It’s now been 35 days since Aston Villa’s last victory in the Champions League, and that slump has continued into the Premier League where they have a single win in the same span. Hosting an underperforming Juventus should have been exactly what the doctor ordered, but, alas. 

Bologna 1-2 LOSC Lille

The good news for Bologna… they finally scored a goal (the last team in the competition to do so). The bad news… they still fell to visiting Lille off Ngal’ayel Mukau’s brace.

Celtic 1-1 Club Brugge

This match featured one of the most face-palming defensive howlers in recent memory, when Cameron Carter-Vickers played a blind back-pass… into his own goal. Oops. Happily, Daizen Maeda was able to curl one into the net to secure the equalizer for the host team.

GNK Dinamo 0-3 Borussia Dortmund

Take a trip to Croatia, in winter, to play a stubborn club at home? Yes, please, said Dortmund. Their road form in the Bundesliga is poor, but they fired on all cylinders today. With 70+% possession and 17 shot attempts, Dinamo never had a chance.

Liverpool 2-0 Real Madrid

In a game where we saw as many missed PKs as we had goals (Kelleher denied Kylian Mbappé – his 3rd PK in two weeks – and Mohamad Salah missed wide left), the star of Liverpool didn’t even make it onto the scoresheet. Conor Bradley was all over the pitch, notched an assist and put his stamp on this game. Well played, young man.

PSV Eindhoven 3-2 Shakhtar Donetsk

Shakhtar were 2-0 up at half, a scoreline that raised many eyebrows. They also looked to be absorbing the PSV attack until Pedro Henrique’s brutal tackle on Johan Bakayoko in the 69th minute. He was shown red, and PSV ratcheted up the pressure. That ultimately paid off when Malik Tillman slotted two goals in two minutes, and Ricardo Pepi put the hosts on top in the final seconds of stoppage time. USA! USA!