For some clubs, the Europa League draw was not all fun and games. Sure, the slightly atonal yet uplifting choral music for the highlight reel inspired emotion, but I’m sure the coaching staff of these five groaned inwardly once the pots were unveiled.
As an aside, I miss the rolling cages and analog balls being fished out of them. That hokey magic act from Mario Daniél wouldn’t pass muster in Penn & Teller’s “Fool Us” program. The smoke machine is in the coat pocket!
Instead of air pressure spitting spheres into chutes we get jokes from the emcees like “Warm hands and magic balls, I’ve always wanted those.” Really. Timestamp: 15m45s. And we are reduced to a computers pre-generated pool that gets revealed with a tap of an oversized button. Oh, what magic.
So here are your five teams who drew the short straw, facing the most difficult schedule based on the opposition’s average club co-efficient ranking.
Final note. The ordering of the teams in the images does not reflect the match order. That will be announced at the latest Sunday evening.
1. Viktoria Plzeň
Combined co-efficient average: 45.3
Club co-efficent: 39.25
Hooligan take: Porto and Roma are tough pulls. Then you’ve got the three “F” teams, of which Freiburg is the only one that could charitably be defined as “easy.”
2. Nice
Combined co-efficient average: 45.2
Club co-efficent: 20
Hooligan take: The draw was not nice to Nice (sorry, Dad joke). They also got Porto and Roma.
3. VfB Stuttgart
Combined co-efficient average: 45.0
Club co-efficent: 17.226
Hooligan take: They’re facing four Champions League caliber clubs, two which were there last season. Yikes.
4. Celtic
Combined co-efficient average: 44.3
Club co-efficent: 38
Hooligan take: It wasn’t enough to get kicked in the nuts by Kairat Almaty, they got this draw as well? Makes you think the algorithm was coded by a Rangers fan.
5. Panathinaikos
Combined co-efficient average: 42.4
Club co-efficent: 16
Hooligan take: It’s actually the two Swiss teams that hurt the most, though the four above them are hard too.
Honorable Mention: Brann
Combined co-efficient average: 39.5
Club co-efficent: 7.937
Hooligan take: This Norwegian club is making its Europa League debut, and has the largest gap between co-efficients: 31.5. We wish them luck!
