As winter’s frosty grip squeezes tightly upon the gonads of England and Wales, we enter the crucible of the Premier League. It is within these next five match weeks before 2025 that a team’s destiny shall be forged, and its edge honed to vorpal sharpness via victory, or dulled by crushing defeat.

Tuesday, Dec. 3

Ipswich Town 0-1 Crystal Palace

Pretty it was not. For either side. But Palace had one spark of brilliance between Jean-Philippe Mateta and Eberechi Eze, and that proved the difference maker. Even more important, even though they only sit at 16th, Palace are no longer the worst-performing team in London, a dishonor now held by….

Leicester City 3-1 West Ham (<<—these guys)

With two wins in the past 11 games, the outlook appears bleak for Julen Lopetegui. It is perhaps the density of this month’s fixture table that could keep him on the sidelines and not on a Ryanair flight back to Gipuzkoa. West Ham looked disheveled and forlorn, particularly after proper geezer Jamie Vardy channeled his 2015 form and cooly slotted a shot 100 seconds into the game.
Meanwhile, in the other technical area an ecstatic Ruud van Nistelrooy was drinking in the adoration. We’ll see how long that halo shines after they face Brighton, Newcastle & Liverpool over the next four games.

Wednesday, Dec. 4

Predictive text from Tuesday in ITALICS.
Comment from the day below.
Also, kudos to USA streamer Peacock who finally launched their multi-view feature. I monitored all four of the early games simultaneously and was rewarded with a 19 goal feast!

Everton 4-0 Wolverhampton

Another battle of the bottom here.
Well you wouldn’t have guessed Everton were sitting 15th based on their form today. They utterly dominated the visitors, reducing the Wolves into peeing-on-the-floor chihuahua puppies.

Manchester City 3-0 Nottingham Forest

I’m not saying this is a must-win for City. Well, yes I am.
The City of match weeks 1 through 3 showed up today, led by talismanic captain Kevin de Bruyne and architect Bernardo Silva. This narrows the title race a wee bit.

Newcastle United 3-3 Liverpool

The Magpies will have a LONG afternoon if they do not rediscover how to score goals.
Newcastle absolutely came out firing on all cylinders, and Liverpool headed into the locker room lucky to be down only one goal.
Then in the 2nd half the announcers commented: “It’s like watching highlights, but it’s the full game in real-time!” Both teams pulled out all the stops for a truly exhilarating display. That third Liverpool goal took my breath away. I have no more words.
Except this: Pay Mo Salah whatever the hell he wants.
And this: Never let a cross go over your head uncontested.
And this: Sometimes draws are deserved.
And last: Ima take a nap now. I’m exhausted.

Southampton 1-5 Chelsea

More goals for the Blues.
I wasn’t wrong.
If insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, then Southampton (regarding their build-out) are the craziest team in the EPL. And as I typed this, captain Jack Stephens tugged a lock of Marc Cucurella’s copious mane, earning himself a straight red. His appeal that he was just trying to keep his hands warm did not fly with the referee.

Arsenal 2-0 Manchester United

The marquee match of the day, between two teams who have regained their form and hit the pitch on hot streaks. Juicy.
I partially retract my statement. While nothing could possibly compare with the four earlier games, particularly the barnstormer of NEWvsLIV, this was a taut, tactical match (at least in the first half).
In the 76th minute the camera focused on Ruben Amorim who was pinching his brow in frustration, which pretty much tells you everything about the second-half. Arsenal were imperious and United were lucky to only concede two. Crazy saves from David Raya in the 65th & 85th minutes kept that clean sheet.

Aston Villa 3-1 Brentford

Though this is a good match, I wish it was the one above being broadcast in the USA.
OK, looks like I have to retract this statement as well, at least based on the score.

Thursday, Dec. 5

Fulham vs. Brighton

I got nothing for this one.
Say hello to the Alex Iwobi Show. He (and Fulham) only had two shots on target, and made them count. Iwobi jumped on a poor pass from Bart Verbruggen in the 4th minute and hit the unguarded goal. Then he curled a beauty into the upper corner after pivoting past two defenders in the 87th minute. Brighton were uncharacteristically sloppy (defender Matt O’Riley also had a own goal).

Bournemouth vs. Tottenham

I wonder which Spurs team will show up?